I Have Not Forgotten About You–Resuming Life in Munich and the Daze of Spring

With all this talk of my Italian vacation, my life in Munich has kind of been overshadowed and I haven’t really been giving it much justice, have I? I am down to seven weeks here and the thought of that blows my mind. I have been having a horrible time balancing it out, too. I want to be home but I want to be here. I can’t keep myself from being in both places and, for a while there, the homesickness was eating me alive and turning me into an emotional mess. I think I’ve pushed past it though, I’m feeling better and more balanced. I’m not missing the days of vacation and I have so much to look forward to over the next few months and so things are good. All is well with this German girl. :)

The last week went easy on me, where both work and my social life were concerned. The girls were not in school so they had the week off and I was pleasantly surprised to find that I didn’t have to work until 3 pm everyday of the week. We watched a lot of movies (Nana is absolutely terrified of Tangled, next time I will let her watch it in German to take the edge off), played a lot of Angry Birds (the six year olds have surpassed me on the levels), and ate a lot of pasta (what else is new?). The weather was beautiful so my friends and I spent a lot of time out in the sun either at the English Gardens or BBQing at the Isar. Munich in the spring is absolutely stunning – the trees have all turned green and are flourishing with the rain and sunshine. Lilacs are blooming (my favorite!!), birds are singing, the sun is shining. Everyone here is happy!

Down at the Isar with friends

Sunset on the Isar

Bruno Mars in Munich?!?!?

Lilacs in a Bavarian approved vase

A little bit of home has found its way to Germany, too – my good friend, Christina, who I used to work for in Monterey, has come to Germany to visit her mom, Kathe, who I have mentioned before in this blog. I went to Garmisch this past weekend to visit her and had such a relaxing weekend full of family, food, and much needed relaxation. I will make a separate post about the weekend, of course, but for now, let’s just say it was incredibly wonderful to see her and even though I had to say hello and goodbye to a piece of home, I was grateful to have her here! Hopefully I get to see her again before she leaves.

On that note, darling Jennie is returning to Munich today! If you haven’t read her blog, Too Hard to Find a URL, go do it. She’s witty and intelligent and Canadian so obviously she’s worth knowing. I met her last summer, here in Munich, and she’s returning now for an internship at a law firm here in Munich so I’m excited to have her back here while I enjoy my last few weeks in Munich. I am going to meet her at her new apartment in a few hours, too! Fresh off the airplane!

Now that Easter vacation is over, it’s back to regular scheduled programming. The girls are back in school, the Frau is filling up her spring social calendar, I am back to being overworked, and life goes on. For seven more weeks (to the day), I will live my German life to the fullest possible extent. Frühlingsfest commenced on Friday so I hope to take advantage of that soon (but more on that later!) and it is now officially May! This time last year I was polishing off my Capstone project and presentation, preparing for graduation, leaving most of my jobs, and getting ready to move out of my apartment. It’s hard to believe that a year has gone by since then or that I’m even this close to the end of my experience here in Germany. Sometimes, especially now with the spring weather and the nostalgic scents of the season, it feels like I just got here. Hopefully, I can make the best of my remaining time and leave Munich with a heavy but happy heart.

(Not So) New German Girl: Nine Months Down, Three to Go

March 20th marked the nine month “anniversary” of my arrival to Munich. And on this date, last year, March 28, 2010 I started this blog – Diary of An American Au Pair slash New German Girl. It’s been one year since that first post and nine months since I first arrived and guess what? I’m not so new anymore!

How can I explain to you just how much my life has changed over the last nine months? You’ve been reading this blog (I hope) so you have an idea of how far I’ve come and the things that I’ve seen but how could I really explain it to you in words? I’m not even so sure that I can do that for myself. What I do know, is that the girl that I was when I left California is not the same girl that will return in June. I have changed, my life has changed, and my eyes are wide open. I may not have seen very much of the world but what I have here – I absolutely love and to be quite honest, I wouldn’t ask for a do-over even if you paid me.

The months leading up to my German adventure were busy, busy, busy. Of course I had Germany on my mind but I was so preoccupied. I was trying to finish my Capstone and was looking forward to my college graduation. I was organizing all of my material possessions, moving out of my apartment, walking away from my numerous jobs and co-workers, saying good bye to friends and loved ones, and preparing myself for the unknown. When I first arrived, after nearly 13 hours of travel with swollen feet and a weary smile, it didn’t feel that different. I couldn’t understand how to get through the airport, not because of the language – everything was written in both English and Deutsch – but because Franz Joseph Strauss airport is a ridiculous mess of signs and signals and moving sidewalks. Eventually, I found a taxi in some shady back corner and I gave my address to the driver and although he barely understood me – I was hopeless back then – he managed to finally understand and we were driving away. My adventure was right in front of me. It was about to begin.

Six Months In: A Proper Update of The Experience Thus Far

I have officially been in Germany for six months. I am halfway finished with this crazy adventure and it’s hard to believe that there’s still half of the experience left to explore. It feels like it’s all gone by so fast and before I can even comprehend what has transpired, I feel like it will be all over and I’ll be on that 10 AM flight back to California. The last six months of my life have been incredible and I wouldn’t trade this experience for any other. I hope that the next six months will be just as amazing.

I sometimes find myself thinking back on my first few days here, and even the days before arriving in Munich, and it feels so far away. It was all so surreal – I couldn’t believe that I had actually done it or that any of it was even real. As long as I’d been alive, I’d never saw myself as the girl who got to go to Europe to live this big fancy adventure in a foreign place. I always believed that my life was average, mediocre, uneventful. It turns out that your life will be this way if you don’t do something to change it. When I was 17, I was that girl who thought she wasn’t smart enough to go to college but then I took a chance and tried and six years later, I graduated cum laude from a four year university. This decision worked the same way. I thought I was just going to be another college graduate, out there swimming in a sea of indecision, but I thought, “You know what? Not yet.” And I did something about it. I researched, I followed through, I paid attention. And now, I’m here, living one of the greatest adventures of my life.

Money Is the True “Sturm und Drang” of This Experience

Due to all of the financial drama that I’ve been dealing with lately, I’ve officially made the decision to return to California next summer. There had been lofty talk of me staying here in Munich and living a fancy European life but I have so many financial obligations back in the States that I have no choice but to return and sort them out. I have credit cards, one that I pay and one that mom pays, which totals to about $7,000 and a dental bill that is somewhere around $1,200. When I first arrived to Germany, I was paying them off with my graduation money (bummer!) but since that’s run out, I tried to resort to my au pair money but that fell through due to outrageous bank transfer fees. So now I’m begging both of my parents to help me out until I can figure out how to do it on my own from all the way over here. It makes me feel really irresponsible and stupid for not having a definite plan but I’m really grateful for their help, wherever and whenever they can give it. Right now, I’m dealing with monthly payments of about $180 and come November, my student loan payments ($41,000 total!) will start up. So I need to call them and put them in forbearance. Not that I have any idea how to do that…

So, in total, at (almost) 24 years old I am nearly $50,000 in debt. Damn. Being a grown up is hard to get used to. I guess I won’t officially be a grown up until I’m done with my European vacation from reality. That’s what next summer will be then… a fast track back to reality and a crap load of catching up. Fortunately, I have my mama and a home to go back to that is virtually rent free (give or take some compromising) so that I can rebuild my credit score, get a job, and work my way back to independence.

The hardest part about planning to go back home right now is figuring out when to return and buying the plane ticket. Because I only bought a one way ticket to begin with, I now have to buy a return ticket and I’ve been having trouble finding anything under $900. Fortunately, Air Berlin has gone online with their cheap ticket prices and I’ve been able to find Thursday departures for $660. Which is pretty good considering. Unfortunately, I can only leave on a Thursday. There are Monday flights for $700 as well but we’ll see if prices go down over the next few months. (And where is the money for this plane ticket going to come from? I have no idea. Hopefully the Frau, if I’m lucky.) My contract with the family is over on June 15th and my au pair visa expires on June 23rd so I figure I can return home just before July and celebrate the 4th with my friends and family. It’d be nice to travel and see other parts of Europe (hopefully I’ll do that before summer comes around) but I don’t know how much money I’ll have or what my situation will be. It’s smartest for me to just buy my plane ticket now and work my life around my departure. Anyway, I plan to do a two week Eurotrip in the spring, so hopefully I’ll have had my fill of traveling. By then, I think I’ll be ready to go home come the end of June.

So, to all my friends and family members back in California… I’ll see you in 8 months! And to everyone who resides here in Germany or England or wherever… I have the rest of my life to come back and I promise you that I will! If I’ve done it once, I have no reason not to do it again. Don’t worry. My life has only just begun.

The Seasons of Change and A Trip Down Memory Lane

As of today, it is officially September and here in Munich, fall has fell. I went out last weekend and could just feel the change, a bite in the air that made a scarf and a warm jacket absolutely necessary. Too bad I don’t have a warm jacket right now. Actually, I don’t have any warm clothes. I left them all at home in hopes that my mom could send them to me in mid September but it looks like I’m going to need them sooner than that. Honestly, all that I have at the moment are tank tops and wimpy t-shirts. My only backup are a few pairs of jeans and some warm hoodies. That’s it. I want my pea coat so badly right now.  Ma? You’re on it!

The last time that I experienced honest to God real fall weather, I lived here:

 Missoula, Montana

I was 15 years old and a freshmen in high school – 8 years ago. Growing up, I remember one of my favorite things to do was rake leaves and jump into the piles that my siblings and I made in our front yard. We’d bury stuff in there and dive deep searching for them – Ninja Turtle action figures, GI Joes, Barbies or whatever else. And then in the end we’d stuff all the leaves into yard bags that looked like pumpkins and stack them in front of the house. My childhood best friend and I used to walk around our neighborhood in Missoula with rakes twice our size offering our $5/hour yard raking services. Some of the best hard labor of my life. Ha.

Needless to say, I absolutely love fall. The smell of it reminds me of school, of Halloween, of turkey and Thanksgiving, of mittens and scarves. Where I live in California, the weather doesn’t change into four distinct seasons. It’s more like 2 1/2. Summer, spring, and rain. The trees don’t burst into flames of unbelievably beautiful autumn colors. The air outside doesn’t suddenly feel crisp and clean. It’s hard to explain but you can just feel the coming of fall. I’ve missed that and I can’t wait to enjoy it here. I’m actually looking forward to the changing of all the seasons here. Even winter. But maybe check in with me again when winter is actually here. I might have changed my story.

The twins and I are back to our weekday routine. Card games, puzzles, painting, and movies. I’ve tried to suggest the zoo multiple times but it never ends up happening. Weather or lack of planning or tennis lessons. The girls have requested going to the Olympic tower but that fell. We need to get out of the house, out of the neighborhood, and out to see the city. Seriously, we just stay home all the time. It gets to be pretty boring. One of these days I’m just going to ask her if I can take them to Marienplatz or something for ice cream and a fancy lunch. At least it’s somewhere.

Coming up this week – the family is going away again, this time to Frankfurt and I am having another dinner party here at the house with a few friends. Not sure on the culinary theme yet. Some time this weekend, we’re going to Dachau which was the first Nazi concentration camp in Germany. I’m looking forward to seeing it but at the same time, I’m not. That’s really hard history to bare witness to, even 70 years later. Every movie or documentary that I’ve watched on concentration camps or the Holocaust (The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, HELLO?!) has brought me to weeping tears so I can only imagine how this will affect me. To be standing right there knowing what happened all of those years ago… damn. It’ll be rough.

Anyway, that’s it for now. Kind of a pointless blog post, isn’t it? Haha. Never! Although, I did forget to say that I definitely think I am cheating with all of this “American” food that I’ve brought back from Garmisch. Today I made a grilled cheese sandwich with Kraft sharp cheddar and for the last three mornings, I’ve had a blueberry bagel with cream cheese for breakfast. I now put ranch dressing on my salad and yellow mustard on my sandwiches and eat it with my french fries. It’s kind of like I’m cheating on German culture or something. And getting fat again. Haha. Damn you, American food. I love you but I can’t wait until you’re gone again.

Now I’m really leaving. But first, a random picture of Munich because, to be honest, Neus Rathaus never gets old.

 

Oh, and P.S. - Yes, Harry you are my official photographer (at least when you’re capturing better pictures than I am and let’s face it, that’s a lot) and lots of kudos to Lauren Beckwith, a former Munich au pair who doesn’t even know me but still sent me a really nice Facebook message about how much she appreciates this blog and wants me to keep writing it. Don’t worry, so long as I’m still an au pair in Munich, I will! And keep reading!

5 Am at Kultfabrik, Kinder Music, Yellow Mustard, and Vampire Love Sagas

It’s been almost a week since I last updated but it feels like a lot longer. Which is weird because time goes by so incredibly fast here. I’ve been here for five weeks already and each week goes by faster than the one before it. Take, for example, the fact that today is Wednesday and I feel like it was just last Wednesday. Does that sound stupid? Does it make sense? Ha. Probably not.

No need to explain why the past week was a blur. I’m in Germany. I’m doing crazy stuff and living a crazy life. Everything is new, everything is different. Why would it be boring? Granted, I do sleep a lot more than I ever did in California and I have absolutely nothing on my agenda. I pretty much just read (working on books 5 and 6 simultaneously), write (letters, blogs, fiction, etc), Facebook, watch Everwood on DVD (so good!), and go out with friends. Oh, and sometimes I work.

I wouldn’t say that I’ve been busy, just active. On Thursday night I went out with my girlfriends and we enjoyed some good German bier, as usual. I’m getting really good at this whole, Munich night life thing, save the problem that I keep missing the last train on weeknights. Helen and I had to pay for a taxi on Thursday night. And on Sunday night, we walked 1.5 hours at 1:30 in the morning to get home. You’d think I would learn my lesson on this one but I haven’t. Not yet. On Friday night I went out with Jessica and her cousin. He was visiting from his army base somewhere in Germany and he’d brought a bunch of friends with him. Overall, the night was a disaster, at least the parts where we had to hang out with the immature, obnoxious army boys. But I did enjoy dancing at clubs in Kultfabrik until 5 am and running in the pouring rain with my friend Ken to get cheeseburgers from the Turkish food stands. Plus, I met the coolest group of Irish guys ever. I really do love Munich nights.

On Saturday I slowed down a bit. After sleeping from only 6 am until about 8:30ish and getting myself home from Jessica’s apartment around 10, I showered, put my pajamas on and curled up in my bed. It was only right. I slept from about 11:30 until almost 4 and then went out into the world again. My friend Catherine and I went to see Eclipse (you know, the Twilight movie?) and oh my God, it was INCREDIBLE. It was my favorite movie thus far which is only to be expected since it was my favorite book as well. I actually liked Bella in this movie which is more than I can say for the first two films. And plus, there was a whole lot of half naked Jacob in this movie. And that is something I definitely agreed with. After the movie, Catherine and I went to dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe and I had the most delicious hamburger and french fries. Oh, and bier. Of course. It was like home but better because it still had a bit of German style. Like sweet pickles instead of dill. But there was French’s Yellow Mustard on the table and I about had a heart attack of delight. I wanted to steal it. It was pouring rain throughout all of this and it didn’t help that Catherine and I got lost looking for the restaurant. Ha. So we were soaked by the time we got there. After dinner, we went our separate ways and went home. Even though it was a pretty low key Saturday, it was exactly what I needed.

Eclipse at Cinema, the English theater in Munich

Sunday was much of the same. Not a lot going on. I met up with Jessica and we wandered around Munich for a while, checking out the gay pride event in Marienplatz and then randomly stumbled across a Japanfest in the English Gardens. We found this little vendor that sold these AMAZING cheesecakes, oh Lord, they were SO delicious. Way better than in the states. In the evening, after I’d gone home (my feet hurt!), Helen invited me to go out with her and some friends and, of course, we had a lot of bier and that’s when Helen and I ended up walking home. Aside from Friday, it was a great weekend.

Life in the house has been fairly uneventful. The Frau hasn’t been too bad. She still confuses me sometimes with her expectations but it’s nothing to cry home about. Although on Friday I had a rough day. I was with the girls for 8 hours. Good Lord, that’s a long time. And the Frau was there the whole time, too. They had a music recital in the evening so at 1, when they came home from kinderhaus she wanted them to rest. I tried to get them to watch a movie but they didn’t want to (“It’s too long!” Nana said) but  just watched TV for 2 1/2 hours instead. It was a rather pointless afternoon seeing as all that I did was sit with them and read my book.  I went with the Frau to their recital which was so cute. Boring but cute. I had no idea what was going on seeing as it was all in German but they were happy to have me there anyway.

 
After the recital, we went to the sports club to have dinner. I had half a roasted chicken (I forget what it’s called in German) and pommes frits (my favorite!). And then I had to hobble back to the house to get the girls swim suits and bring them back. And then I had to sit at the pool with them in the hot sun for 45 minutes. And when we got home, I had to try to get them to go to bed. Eenie, of course, was sucked into the TV like always. And she wouldn’t budge. And I was so frustrated, I had to go into the kitchen and try not to cry. Eight hours! That was a lot more than I was used to. Eventually, the Frau let me go and then I released my frustrations with bier and club dancing, as previously mentioned.

I don’t mean to complain. I mean, I have every right to but I won’t. Sure, being an au pair has it’s downsides but it’s really not that bad. I have more free time than I know what to do with and my job’s actually not that hard. Besides, I elected to go to the music recital. I didn’t have to. Anyway, I really do like being an au pair. And I’m so blessed to have this opportunity. So don’t think that I’m ungrateful because I’m not. It’s really great getting to know the girls more and more everyday. It’s been a slow process but we’re getting used to each other every day. I’ve been teaching them new games and songs and I love reading to them, even though they know all the books by heart already. And I love going to the pool with them. I just can’t wait until I can jump in again!

Which reminds me, I get my stitches out tomorrow. A fellow au-pair friend of mine is working for a doctor lady and she’s graciously agreed to take them out for me tomorrow morning. I’m going to go over to their house and it’ll be quick and easy. Finally! This thing has been a pain in the ass… er, foot.

This week the girls are taking part in a local neighborhood circus next week, which is set up down the street. It’s a bunch of kids from a circus school putting on a show of acrobatics, balancing, rope walking and stuff like that. Eenie and Vee have cousins in the school so they get to be pretty butterflies and run around in circles. I haven’t been yet – I’m taking them to rehearsals tomorrow. They have shows Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night and I think I’m going to all three. Either as a guest or as a chaperone, not quite sure. And I have to babysit on Saturday night so Friday is the only night that I get to go out this weekend. Which is fine by me. I wore myself out last week!

I hope that I can start traveling soon. I haven’t been very good at budgeting or saving my money and so I haven’t really been thinking about traveling, mostly about how to live off of 70 EUR for a week and a half. It’s actually not that hard, to be honest. I’m just used to my frivolous spending habits of California and so I always think I’m going to be screwed. But really, I don’t buy anything more than a water bottle here or a snack there. And that’s usually only 3 or 4 EUR total. So I’m okay. For now. Hopefully I’ll have some friends visiting me in August and we can go to Austria or something. Haven’t really decided where yet!

That’s all from me now. I have some laundry to finish and some cleaning to be done. Oh, Wednesdays how I loathe thee. Sigh.

Oh, and For All the Other Stuff I Forgot About

Slicing my foot open wasn’t the only interesting thing that happened to me this past week. I actually did a lot of fun things, believe it or not, and THEN I stepped on glass and rendered myself useless for at least three or four more days. Which is okay because I fully intend to read at least two more books, sleep a lot, watch a movie or two, and not spend any money, seeing as I don’t have any. Thursday, I get paid and it will be glorious to have money again. Until then, I will remain crippled. But my job duties prevail. Today I must take the twinners to the pool but I can’t go in. Cruel and unusual punishment, isn’t it?

Anyway, last Wednesday I left off saying that I was going off with some friends to watch the Germany VS Spain football/soccer game at the Olympia stadium. Well, we went and it was FUN. Even though they lost. This place is MASSIVE. It seats 20,000 and it wasn’t anywhere near to being full but it was still incredible to see that many fans go out to support their football team on a giant television. Americans don’t do that kind of thing. We sit in our living rooms with cheese balls, Tostito pizza rolls, seven layer bean dips, 18 packs of PBR, and Cheetos and watch from the comfort of our living room. Maybe if it was a real match, we’d get off our asses, leave our living rooms, and go watch… but not for a giant TV screen. Deutschland fans are one of a kind.

Me and Lauren, rockin’ our spirit

Fans in mass

Watching from our seats

Inside the UBahn after the game. Pure madness.

This, my friends, was one of the experiences of my time here in Munich that I am so grateful to be a part of. It’s a story that I will never forget and I can only imagine how much better it would have been in Germany had actually WON. Oh well, they went on to take 3rd place on Saturday night so GO DEUTSCHLAND! I am forever a football/soccer fan. World Cup is so much fun to watch. Hopefully I can be in Europe every time that it happens. That would be a fun tradition to begin. Three 1/2 weeks every four years for a World Cup vacation. Who’s in?

On Thursday I did the regular schedule all day. Morning with the family and then I went back to bed for a few hours (oops) and then went into the Englischer Garten and just relaxed in the sun and shade.

    

Thursday evening I met up with some friends at night to go to the Toy Town meet-up, which had been scheduled for Augustiner Keller biergarten. Navigating the SBahn and UBahn stops is easy now so that wasn’t a problem. I was a little bit late, mostly because I’d had to work right up until 8 pm but I was able to meet Lauren and Catherine at the right spot. We managed to find the biergarten after heading in the wrong direction only once but once we got there, everyone just magically found each other and all was well. We had some bier (ein Maß, of course) and then started rocking out to the German rock band that was playing at the front of the garden. They played a lot of cover songs in English and we had so much fun dancing on tables and rocking out to the weird German music. After the biergarten, we collectively wandered off to a gay bar called Die Bank, where all the TT-goers always want to go. I’m not sure exactly how many of them are actually gay but I’ve been there twice now. But it was fun. We had a good, German time – drinking bier, taking shots, and sitting on really comfortable couches.

It still impresses me that I can drink these, even after a month of being here.

German band!

The girls at Die Bank

I learned a valuable lesson that Thursday night: don’t forget that the UBahn stops running after 1 am on weekdays. If I can manage to remember this, I will never again spend 16 EUR on a taxi. Either that, or carry around the night bus schedule. Save myself some money, geez.

Friday was kind of a lazy day. I was a little burnt out from the night before so I chose to stay in for most of the day. Read my book, didn’t really do much. Every once in a while, this is just what I need. Friday evening I had planned to stay in but when Jessica called me, I made up my mind that I would, in fact, go out with her but after traveling towards her place for 30 minutes, I ended up getting a call from the Frau. She thought that I would be staying in tonight so she had made up her mind to go out so she wanted me to come home. She was nice enough about it but it was kind of annoying. I ended up going back home and I watched a movie and went to bed. No big deal.

Saturday was HOT. I went to the Englischer Garten with Catherine, one of my newest friends here, and we laid in the sun for about 30 minutes before we decided it was just too damn hot. We ended up going into the shade and sat out in the gardens until about 4:30 before Jessica showed up and we went into town. We had dinner at Pizza Hut which, SURPRISE!, tastes just like Pizza Hut in the states. I was under some grand illusion that all the chain restaurants will taste different here in Europe but they’re all pretty much the same. Except McDonald’s – it tastes infinitely better here. Catherine and I want to go to the Hard Rock Cafe soon. I love their food.

 Delicious.

Saturday night we went out on the town and I managed to buy all my drinks before so I didn’t spend a bunch of money at the bars. I got three bottles of Augustiner for under 5 EUR, a mini bottle of Jagermeister for 2,49 EUR and a can of Red Bull. Overall, I didn’t spend more than 8 EUR. Which is something I should do more often. Although now that I read back on that, that’s an awful lot of alcohol for one night. No wonder I ended up in the hospital at 4 am. Geez.

You can imagine what I did on Sunday.

Honestly, I slept all day. People kept calling me to go to the Englischer Gartens but there was no way I was going to be able to do that. I was in so much pain. I just laid in bed and either slept, watched a movie, read my book, or spent time online. It was nice though because I needed the rest, my body was trying to catch up from the traumatic event. 

Now I’m just trying to keep my stitches clean and out of the water so that I can get them removed without any infections or problems next week. Actually, 12 days. So, on July 23. Wow… that’s so far from now. Anyway, I’m going to try to  take it easy until then. Which means I’ll probably just be sleeping a lot and will finish 1-2 books between now and then. Both of those outcomes is okay with me.

I never knew that I would have to leave college to get some really good sleep!

Au Pair “Work,” the Love of Children, and Other New and Interesting Things

Thank God for weekends. I feel like this week has been so long!

My first full week was jam packed with actual “work.” Or at least the equivalent of what work is for an au pair – babysitting, making dinner, cleaning up after kids, digging weeds out of a sandbox, filling up mini pools with water, constructing child size nylon tents, coloring, drawing fifteen different versions of Mickey Mouse, reading Curious George ten times, pigtail braids, picking up slugs off the floor, going to tennis lessons and putting clean laundry away. Yet, despite all of this, three nights of babysitting and complete focus on my duties and responsibilities, I still feel as if I haven’t done enough. It’s very hard trying to please the Frau, I can’t read her very well. I always feel like she’s accusing me of something. I know that this probably isn’t the case but either way, it’s really frustrating.

I know that German mother’s are very different from the one’s in the US so it’s hard not to feel as if she loathes everything that I do. Did I put the dishes back in the right spot? Did I make the mashed potatoes wrong? Did I give Eenie too much cereal? If this were my job in California, say working as an au pair for the Butler’s, a previous family that I used to babysit for, would I feel this way? Most days I feel like I’m imposing, even though she wants me there. I just feel as if I’m not meeting her expectations, whatever they may be. She never really went over any rules with me, she just tells me that I’m doing them wrong as they are broken. Like last weekend when I brought two girlfriends over to the house so that we could get out of the rain, she came down on me for not asking permission. Which is a viable request, I understand, but I just assumed that because Helen was the one relaying all the rules and expectations to me, that they stood for me as well. Apparently not. It’s a learning process. I am, by no means, trying to make it seem as if I hate it here because I don’t. Not at all. But part of the experience is learning from the bad parts, too. Some days are better than others.

The best part of this week’s “intense” work schedule is that I’ve gotten so much closer to the girls as a result. They love me more and more everyday. It’s not hard to win over five year olds but, regardless, I feel good that I’ve managed to make some progress. Both of the girls are so different from each other, Vee is much more mischievous and rebellious and she takes more risks. Eenie is much quieter (in relation to her sister, anyway) and is sweeter on me than Vee. She holds my hand and sits close to me and is always asking me questions. I have my moments with Vee too, but in different ways. Yesterday Vee wanted her nails painted so we had a little manicure session and then I sat with her so she wouldn’t get nail polish all over the furniture. They both lean on me when I read them books, one on either side of me, and it’s the smallest, most quiet, and appreciated moment. I store it away and it makes me smile. I love to feel the quiet affection of children, it’s such an innocent feeling. It makes me feel very strong and protective of them. I fall in love with every moment like this and I know how much deeper that will grow as time goes on.

On Wednesday I went with the family to the girls’ tennis lesson. It was held at the “country club” or the equivalent of what that stands for in America. Private courts, private membership, etc. I didn’t much more than sit in the grass and wait for some kind of direction. I’m not really sure why I was supposed to be there. I didn’t serve much purpose other than holding a bag and a restless hand. I played “futbol” with Eenie for a little while at the end but other than that, I was fairly useless. I was relieved to find that an American family had congregated behind me and they were playing and conversing in the only language that I can fully understand. Later, I learned that they had just spent a year in Monterey as the father was stationed at DLI for German language courses. It’s really cool how small the world really is. On Thursday night I met a girl from Milwaukee that loves Hanson. This subject came up because I was drunk enough to confess that Milwaukee reminded me of them (I've been sitting here too long by a man from Milwaukee) and she said, “I love them too!” Again, such a small world!

Hearing this family behind me was such a comfort because you don’t realize how much you appreciate your home language until you no longer hear it anymore. Pretty much everywhere that I go, I have absolutely no idea what anyone is talking about. I can usually guess the topic of conversation based on the venue or a few choice words that I can make out but most of the time, I have no clue. I’m immersing myself within it, though, which is a good thing. I have no choice but to understand it. It’s almost like it’s needed for survival. During the day, when I am out exploring by myself, all I want to do is go into little Munich cafes or biergartens and order the delicious looking food but I never do because I have no idea what any of it is. I can’t read the menus and I have no clue if the person working there speaks English. And if they don’t, how will I get my order out to them? It’s really frustrating but it’s something I’ll get used to. For now, I’ve just been going out for traditional food and bier when I’m with someone who speaks German or at least is familiar with the food menus. Eventually, I’ll understand and I’ll be much more comfortable in the city. But right now, it’s really overwhelming!

I was very homesick yesterday – mostly I think this was because I’d been stuck inside the house for most of the week and was getting a little stir crazy. I had no choice but to hang out on Facebook and look at the pictures of home that are plastered all over my walls. I was also very tired from a late Thursday night – I’d went out for ToyTown again and Jessica and I hit the town with high spirits. Which equals cheap Vodka from her refrigerator and Paulaner beer that we were able to take out onto the streets, seeing as open container and drunk in public laws don’t exist here.

I got home that night around 1 am and was passed out before 2. But after waking up at 8 to get the girls ready for school, I went right back to bed around 10 and slept until 1. Therefore, I was seriously dragging all day. I don’t function very well on cat naps. I was able to bike through the Englischer Gartens on Thursday afternoon though, and it was beautiful and so romantic. I love it there. My favorite pictures:

  Biergartens

 

Before I’d went into the Gartens, I’d spent about four hours doing official paperwork stuff with the Frau. We waited forever at the registration offices to get my visa finalized and my residence papers verified. I was so grateful that I took my book. I managed to finish it and have since started another. I like being here, if only for all of the literature I will be consuming.

Today is the start to a beautiful weekend here in Munich. At the current moment in time, I am waiting for Jessica to arrive so that we can take the bikes into the Englischer Gartens and picnic. Bier, cheese, and whatever else. It’s the perfect start to a beautiful day. The weekend should be full of excitement seeing as the USA plays in the World Cup tonight and Deutschland plays tomorrow. Lots of partying and celebrating (hopefully!). And I do love to celebrate!

Jet Lag and Other Minor Frustrations, Coloring Books, and the Munich Nightlife!

What a long, crazy weekend. I love this city. I love being here. Everyday I love it more and more. I’m falling madly in love with Munich – through the people, through the culture, the food, the bier, the language, the customs, the lights, the sounds. And now that I’ve made a handful of friends here, things are decidedly much better, anyway – it’s easier to love a city when you have someone to adventure with! After the meet up on Thursday, I made more plans with Jessica and we went out on Friday night as well. Helen’s also introducing me to her friends, which is a blessing.

Jessica and I – New friends in Munich! 

There have been a few frustrations, namely the jet lag. It’s getting better, slowly. But on Thursday night, it killed me. Helen and I came back from the bars around 2 am and I was ready to sleep, in my bed, around 3. But I never fell asleep, I wasn’t the least bit tired. I stayed up until 7 am and here in Munich, the sun comes up just before 5 am. So not only was I battling jet lag but I was also fighting against the sun. Thank God for the sleep mask I got on my flight. I’ve been using it every night. It’s a big help in allowing me to sleep.

Unfortunately, jet lag and an early morning sunrise wasn’t the only thing keeping me awake. The bed that I sleep on is broken – the support beam beneath the mattress that runs vertically along the middle of the bed, is broken and is slowly snapping in half. The bed creaks and makes horrible noises every time I turn over, not to mention, it’s really uncomfortable when your whole body sinks maliciously into the middle of the mattress. I tried a million different ways to fix it. The Frau and I even nailed it back together and taped it up but that didn’t hold. Right now I have three pillows supporting it under the bed and it’s doing better. It still makes a lot of noise but it’s more comfortable and is being supported from breaking further. All things considered, I managed to sleep until 12 that morning and then began my day, which included yet another frustration.

A bottle of bright red nail polish fell off of my shelf in the bathroom, hit the porcelain floor, and SHATTERED. Bright red nail polish everywhere. It was horrible. I wanted to cry. I didn’t have any nail polish remover. What was I supposed to do? I ended up going out into the city and went to the DM at Munchner Freiheit to get some nail polish remover and cotton balls. I made up some lame excuse and told the Frau that I had to go to O2 to have them fix my phone. I was embarrassed. I didn’t want her to cancel my contract on account of idiocy and general tiredness.  The whole trip took less than a half an hour and I was able to sneak back inside, upstairs, and sat in the bathroom for a half an hour inhaling polish remover fumes and sweating profusely. Eventually, I managed to clean most of it up. Well, I cleaned all of it but the spaces between the tiles are now tinged a delicate shade of pink. I guess things like this are supposed to happen every once in a while though. Oops.

Another thing that I’m trying to get used to is that there are lack of meals or a steady routine. I’m hoping this will change with time but for now, it’s really hard to get used to. Because of my work schedule, I don’t always eat regular meals with the family so it’s hard to get a proper meal schedule going. So far, I’ve managed to have dinner with the family most nights but it’s not really traditional German food. It’s a lot of pasta and salad, bread and cheese. Mostly just pasta. Breakfast is mostly nonexistent, unless I’m invited downstairs or getting the girls ready for school. And it’s usually cereal except on Saturday it was pretzels, cream cheese, and salami. Weird. Because the girls are at school during the day on weekdays, lunch is pretty much of my own making. And since I’m still trying to figure out how to walk around the family that I am living with and exist comfortably with them, it’s been hard figuring out how everything works and what is expected of me. Fortunately, because of this, I’m going to be losing some weight. Seeing as I eat one meal on average and consume mostly fruit and water and walk just about everywhere that I go.

Fortunately, the girls are getting used to me and they are warming up to me. On Thursday I spent part of the afternoon coloring with Vee, in the Disneyland coloring book that I sent her in the spring and we also made some blueberry muffins together. She smiles and laughs with me, it’s so cute. I made them pancakes that night and they loved them. They turned out REALLY good, I even surprised myself. On Friday, they had a play date and Eenie spent most of her time with the neighbor boy but Vee stayed with me and taught how to play Snap and we played Uno. She beat me every time! So Vee has definitely been warming up to me the most and seems to like me a lot. Eenie took her chances with me on Saturday and we fell pretty hard in love with each other. Ha. We all went to the grocery store together and there is a place on the cart for the kids to ride and they would fight over who wanted to be there, of course. But when they did, they would lean into me and talk to me in English, asking me questions. It was cute. I’m definitely falling in love with them. They’re such sweet little girls. And I love reading to them and playing games with them. They are SO smart. They amaze me. They’re five and they speak two languages fluently! They’re incredible, as far as I’m concerned. Tomorrow I will work for the first time and get them fed and ready for school. Hopefully it goes well!

On a less responsible note, my first weekend in Munich was EPIC. I went out with Jessica on Friday and Saturday night and had such a good time. I love this girl, I’m so glad I met her. We get along great and are enjoying the night life! A recap of our weekend adventures:

• getting lost in the streets looking for a ToyTown meet-up
• taking the tram in the wrong direction
• finding a three story tall McDonalds where we met handsome and sexy British men
• bar hopping with said British men
• trying to get past the “guest lists” at night clubs
• dancing at Sausalitos to music that was three years outdated
• Jägermeister shots in Germany! (Really! How often do you get to do that?!)
• meeting one person from Monterey and another from San Luis Obispo
• stumbling across the four most handsome and well dressed men Germany could ever produce and then hating ourselves for not getting their phone numbers
• eating traditional, delicious German food
• hanging out with drunk, middle aged British men at a classy Munich bar
• bier! bier! bier!

Bier and food – classic German delicacy! 

German food at the Schneider Weiss Brauhaus – DELICIOUS! 

Ultimately, I love this city. Did I say that already? I am having such a good time here, I can’t believe that this is my life right now. When did this happen? And to me? Five years ago, even two years ago, I never would have pictures myself doing this, living this dream. It’s incredible. I am so blessed to have this opportunity.

Now if only the rain would go away and the sun would come out!

I Think I’ll Go to the Seaside

I am back in California. After two weeks in Montana and one night in Monterey, this will be my last stop before I go abroad next week. And yes, I am stealing pictures of my hometown off of the Internet, rather than taking them myself. Lazy? I like to use the word, resourceful. But you have to admit, it’s a pretty good resting place for my last days in California, isn’t it? I am really going to miss these beaches, the ocean, the harbors, the smell of salt water and fish in the air. Ah.

As my mom and Neil are on their own little summer vacation (Alaskan cruise and visiting my long-lost grandfather in Washington) I am alone for six days with the two cats. And they’re about as lazy  as I am.

Dorie’s really getting into this whole packing thing. 

Lily’s not doing much of anything, really.
Except being princessy. 

For the first time since graduation, things are finally settling down. Ever since mid-May I felt like I’d been running around with an agenda and now… I don’t really have one.  My two week vacation in Montana was great - I’m so glad that I was able to go but it was rife with emotion. I learned so much about myself and my relationships with the people that I love.  It’s hard to come back from that without feeling a little frazzled. But they sure did send me off in style. My dad BBQ’d and my friends and family members came out to bid me farewell and to welcome Madisyn to the family as well. Double party!

I didn’t mind sharing!

BBQ’d ribs, chicken, Chinese salad, frog eye salad and baked beans.
Hell yes. 

After a long day of traveling, I spent one night in Monterey with my friends before I headed back to Morro Bay. It was so good seeing them again. I was a bit apprehensive about having to say goodbye again. Doing it once was hard enough but it was actually really good to see them again and have a proper good-bye.

Lunch date. <3

After visiting over a yummy lunch at Lalla Grille we said our good-byes and then Lauren and I spent the rest of the afternoon shopping and visiting with some family friends of ours. And then I headed back to Morro Bay. And although it sucks to be away from my friends when they’re just so close (only 2 hours away!) it’s really nice to have some time to myself… to be alone and just getting my head wrapped around this trip. I haven’t really had any time to think about it. Everyone keeps asking me if I’m excited or nervous and I can’t really say. I don’t know how I feel about it. I haven’t really had time to focus on it just yet. So I plan on doing that over the next few days!

But, really, how does one prepare for a year long trip? I know I’m going to forget something. And it will not be my passport. Ha.

I haven’t actually been doing any packing, to be honest. But I have gotten myself prepared in other areas. Like… for the long day of travel. I’ve spent most of last night and today converting some online movie files (via Sarah’s computer movie collection) to Quicktime so that I can watch them on my iPod. Movies include:

Clash of the Titans
Date Night
The Invention of Lying
How to Train Your Dragon
Youth in Revolt
Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging
The Crazies
Whip It
Away We Go

I’ve also cleaned up my iTunes and transfered old, unloved, and neglected music files over to my external hard drive so that I can fit aforementioned movies onto my iPod. In the process, I also gave my playlist collection a make-over and bought some new music since the 600+ songs I tried to copy from Lauren’s computer did want to transfer. I needed to compensate so I actually bought music to make myself feel better. My favorite buys of the day:

Hanson – Shout it Out
I don’t really feel the need to explain my first choice. If you know me at all, you're aware of the fact that I’ve been a Hanson fan since I was eleven and any time that they release a new album (today!) I am all over it. I’m not so much of a fan girl anymore but this album is pretty good. Although This Time Around will always be my favorite.

Grace Potter and the Nocturnals (Self-titled)
I found this album randomly through Amazon MP3s but the second that I listened to it, I loved it. The first track, alone, had me hooked. It’s powerful and fun and it just made me want to get up and dance. It’s a great album. You should check it out. 

And with that, I will leave you now. I am going to go start my dinner and continue watching the Law & Order SVU marathon that has been on ALL day. This is my favorite show. I don’t think you realize how happy I’ve been today.

:)

Rainy Days

I don’t care what anyone says. I love the rain. I hate being out in it, I don’t like being wet or having wet shoes, wet pants, etc. But I love listening to it. It’s pouring down right now and I am sitting here in my bedroom (aka the guest room) at my dad’s house with the window wide open. Weather reports say it might storm, which would be awesome because I love thunder storms. You don’t get that kind of weather on the central coast. Living in Montana, however, we got those storms every summer. I’d love to get one now, right before I leave. Although I was kind of looking forward to my dad’s softball game tonight. Hopefully I get the best of both worlds. Ha.

I stole this picture online. But it’s a great image of the city of Missoula,
where I grew up, where I am vacationing now. 

I’m leaving Montana on Sunday which actually makes me kind of sad. It’s very bittersweet, I’ve had such a good time here. I’ve been enjoying my family so much. It’s been so nice seeing them again and really getting to know them. I appreciate and love them so much more than I ever did when I was a kid. There are so many politics and family alliances involved in divorce and blended families. I am so happy that I am older now and able to understand that my family loves me and that, despite everything we’ve been through, we’re all in it together. I’m so grateful that I was able to have this vacation. It’s been a blessing!

Tomorrow my family is having a BBQ for me. My dad is a grill master and makes some mean ribs. And there will be cake! My grandma and aunt, uncle, and cousin are coming by and Sarah will be coming too. I’m hoping my brother will be able to come but I think he has to work. That will be a bummer because I’ve hardly spent any time with him at all since I’ve been here. That’s mostly just because of communication problems and his work schedule. But he knows that I love him! So, I’ll see him when I see him, I guess!

This morning I spent a few hours with my step-sister, Sam, and helped her with the baby. We took Madisyn in to get weighed. She looks bigger to me, each time that I see her, but she’s not gaining weight so it’s got Sam really frustrated. But I really enjoyed the morning and was happy to spend some quality time with my niece. She’s so beautiful and sweet. I love her so much! And I had a good time with Sam, too! We didn’t get along very well as kids so it’s always nice to sit and just talk with her and get to know her. Relationships are so much better as an adult! I’m glad for that! Everything makes sense!

I plan on just enjoying my last few days here. Saturday and Sunday. That’s it. Then it’s back to California for a week before I leave the country!

I can’t believe it’s coming up so soon – 11 days. It’s crazy. I still can’t believe it. Am I really about to do this? It’s so exciting, I never thought that this kind of thing would happen to me. But it is. In eleven days. I am flying out of LAX so soon. I can’t even fathom that two weeks from today I will be hanging out in Munich, Germany. I’ve been having dreams about my trip, pretty much every night, and I usually wake up expecting to be there already. It’s crazy, they’re really vivid, realistic dreams too. I hope that reality lives up to my imagination. Ha. Or that it’s even better. Which, I’m fairly certain, it will be. :)

Destination: Munich.
Countdown: 11 days.

Vlog: Episode 2 - Time Flies