July 10, 2011

Now That You’re Back in California…

It’s been about a month now since I returned to California. Okay, not really. More like three weeks. But it feels like it’s been a month and it’s gone by so fast. I haven’t really slowed down at all since I got home either, which helps to make time go by. Once or twice I sat down to write about all of the details but I just don’t have the heart to write in this blog right now because my heart it isn’t in it anymore. I’m not an au pair anymore and I’m not in Germany. This blog was incredible and probably one of the best decisions I could have made in terms of documenting my experience but it’s just not practical or interesting to me anymore. I hope that it will continue to exist as a resource for future Deutschland bound au pairs or other travel enthusiasts or fans but for now, after this entry, I won’t be writing here anymore. I just wanted to write and say that coming home hasn’t been difficult but it hasn’t been easy either. I haven’t had any reverse culture shock – none whatsoever – and I haven’t had any breakdowns yet in which I am debilitated by my longing for my past European life. (Tiago was here for nine days which might have had something to do with that! I didn’t feel sad or lonely until he left me to go back to Munich. Boo!) I am bored, yes, and I am lonely, oh yeah, but it’s balanced with the expectations that I have for myself. I’m living a new life – a version of my life that seems kind of familiar but is completely brand new – and I am trying really hard to adjust to that.

Thank you SO MUCH for following me for the last year and going on this journey with me. It was the best of my life and I am so grateful for the fact that you were willing and eager to read about my life as I lived it.