September 18, 2010

This One’s For You, Ma

I wanted to post this one for my mom because I’ve been thinking about her a lot lately and missing her and I know she’s been feeling sad missing me, too. She reads this and so I know it’s a surefire way to get her straight in the heart. This missing her thing, it’s not a debilitating, aching feeling but it makes me feel lonely in the way that only missing your mom can do. I’ve been really grateful that I haven’t been very homesick since I got here. As much as I want to miss my mom a lot, and everyone and everything back home, it’s not healthy for my experience here and I’m glad that it hasn’t consumed me. Not to say that I don’t miss those things but I just don’t let it take over my days. But it’s really hard not to miss home when your mom says stuff like this to you on Facebook chat:

“You are the best thing in a lot of lives, Heather. I'm so proud of you.”

Leave it to Ma to make me feel like I’m the single most important person in the whole world. My decision to come to Germany has been one of the best that I’ve ever made. I’m so happy here – happier than I’ve ever been before. I love my life, my friends, the city – everything. But knowing that my mama is proud of me and that she misses me, that is better than all of those things. I love you, too, Ma! And I miss you! Especially our mother-daughter dates and you playing with my hair until I fall asleep. Believe it or not, but I even miss the way that we frustrate each other. It reminds me that we’re imperfect and human but that we’re still strong enough, together and separate, to love each other despite our imperfections and because of our differences. You’re the most beautiful and loving mother I could have ever asked for and no matter how you much you doubt yourself as so and even if you think you’ve failed a time or two at being the best mother to Tim and I, I assure you that nothing you have said or done - past, present or future - will ever make me love you any less than I already do. You’re the best mom in the whole world because you’re my mom!

003  It’s a motha-daughta thing!

And it’s not just my mom. I miss you all, I promise. I think about you all the time. I’ll come back to you someday. Whenever I can afford to buy a plane ticket back, anyway. Ha.

P.S. Look what my mom got in the mail and scanned for me!

viewerMama ain’t raised no fool!

2 comments:

Ellen said...

This is a lovely picture of you and your mom, Heather!

Debbie said...

I'm sure this made your beautiful mama cry. :0) Love you!

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